New Home - Settling In

I moved into my new place about a week ago. Its like having a country house. The kitchen was decorated in the 1960’s with red/white box pattern. There is a lemon tree outside the window hopefully I can reach them to pick some. I have a small terrace where I can sit and eat with wonderful sunlight. Hopefully will barbeque soon. I want to buy a few herb plants to grow there.
Its learning everything over again. The first weekend I clogged the toilet for the entire weekend because I should not flush paper down the toilet. We have to heat the water before taking a shower and I had to call the landlord to ask how to turn this on. It even took me a little while to remember how to turn on the fire for the gas stove. I couldn’t remember and came back to it a couple hours later. I still don’t know where I should put the garbage. Its really interesting just having the basics in a kitchen - no microwave, toaster oven, George Forman grill, cuisine art…. The first weekend I had not bought internet so this was a bit like being on holiday – not connected.

One thing that is funny, in the USA and especially in NYC we are not used to waiting. In the states I would have just bought my internet on my credit card and paid for it later. But Jordan is a cash country, and my check took longer than expected so I ended up waiting till getting paid just a few days. Being that it wont be easy to put back my US Savings or credit card I want to use them sparingly. Also Jordanians have a very different sense of time and some think I am impatient. Of course as a New Yorker, we want everything done promptly. They can discuss or put something off for two weeks that I intend to wrap up in 3-5 days. I regularly tell people here, I don’t really wait for people.

So I thought I was getting direct deposit from my company on the 1st. It ends up US AID sends a big check to AISEC on the 1st, they cash it which takes one day to clear, then we go and pick up a check from them. Funds were getting quite low, so they told me they could give me partial cash. But then they tried to just give me cash and then to wait another day to come back for the check, which would have cost me 4JDs each time (with income of 1/3 of US). I passed by my bank to cash it but that would take a day to clear, so I waited to go the bank the check was written on to get cash, which delayed paying rent and buying the internet. I went window shopping for internet that first weekend and found out that I needed a resident to sign up or the deposit for the modem would be much larger. So then I had to coordinate someone to go out to City Mall to get the internet.

Tuesday I realized I have to go the police station to extend my 30 day visa. You have to go to one in that has the jurisdiction for your home. I stopped by one close and asked them what I need and which one I should go to. Wednesday morning I headed down with my passport and apt lease. I had to walk 40 min because I did not have a small bill to give the taxi and normally don’t even have change for 5JD. I knew the area it was in but wasn’t sure exactly where, it took me an extra 30 minutes to find it once in the neighborhood. Each person kept telling me something else, and they always want to tell you to take a taxi even when its quite close. SO I go upstairs and they tell me that I need the blood test to receive the stamp. I have gotten different information and I know people who have not gotten the test but no one who spoke Arabic picked up the phone to help me sort this out. The police guy told me go get the test and we will stamp you if you have the receipt. So then I am off to El Garden Street to find the blood test place. The taxi driver spoke to my boss for 5 minutes and he still didn’t know where it was. I got out once I knew I was close. I asked someone in a bank and he decided to walk me over. I took the test 20JDs ($28) and headed back the police station. I showed up with the receipt that I had taken the test. But the friendly police chief was not having this and told me the rules changed March 31st (written in Arabic). He told me I have to come back with the results and I will pay 1.5JDs each day late after one month from entrance. The funniest thing, when I wasn’t happy, he said speak to my wife and handed me the phone. I took the phone and she said hello and asked me the problem. When I heard her voice I asked if she was Jordanian, and she said no American. I was sitting with a room full of men and I said “oh thought I may like a woman to console me”. If I have not mentioned before, I have met many men with American wives. Anyway what I thought would take an hour or so took 4 hours on the first day. Welcome to Jordan – Ahlan wa sahlan! I also said this to the police officers which made one laugh.

After my morning of running around I went to work, then to Arabic lessons, then to city mall to cash my check and buy internet with a local. While there I decided to do a big food shop, since it cost 5JDs($7) taxis. The store kicked me out at midnight when it closed. I got in the taxi and when 2/3rd home I realized that I forgot the modem in the check bagged desk. I debated and decided to go back because I wasn’t sure if things will still be there in the next day. So myself and the taxi guy enter the mall after closing and made our way into the store. Which we spoke with the guards for over 30 minutes to get this. I tried to use My arabic “eli yom, ma boukra – today not tomorrow”. He said impossible and I respond “leesh la – why not”. When I say something people often giggle.So finally we got the bag I said “el hum du allah – thanks be to god” and I got home at 1:14 am. I spent 8JDs ($11) with the very helpful taxi guy who was born in Brazil but Jordanian/Palestinian. He spoke pretty good English, but once I heard the Portuguese I started also saying little things in Spanish. The moral to the story being very tired cost money with mistakes – but there will always be a learning curve.

Believe me I am so tired of asking people for help, trying not to be too needy for those that are helpful OR taking an endless amount of time/wandering to figure it out myself.

Home Hunting

Looking for an apartment in a new place/country is quite challenging. This reminded me of when first looking for apartments In NYC. Most apartments that I looked at came through people. Which required my networking skills to be on point the last two weeks. I felt like I was in Bus Dev for my new home – seeking good leads. When things slowed down I thought about who else I know to keep things in the pipeline.

Many ex-pats or those that prefer foreigners post in a trendy coffee shop called Books Café.
Once a week the newspaper has rentals to call (in Arabic). Of course some are RE agents.
It is really best to go with a local to help negotiate and speak in Arabic whenever needed.
Some buildings put up signs when they have a place for rent, so you can drive/walk around
neighborhoods you want to live and call the ads. Or speak with the supers of buildings
to ask if they know of anything available close by. Many people I spoke with hanging out
have a family member with an apartment for rent.

The first week I looked at 4 places. Two were crap. One was beautiful BUT the apt had STRICT rules. No one after 10pm (obviously some foreigners don’t care to respect the culture), no guest for more than 2-3 days, and no boyfriends spending the night. I got them to agree to guests for one week including my brother, male cousin, or a close friend. They basically said the building and neighborhood has traditional values if they see boys spending the night someone may think a prostitute is living there and will look badly on the building. Everything in the home was really new and I considered taking this place. BUT It was also far from work and the taxi cost would really add up. The second good place – was in an ideal place(2 bedroom), fellow AIESEC
interns occupied, but they would be there till end of April. So I could share a room for a couple weeks and then get a roommate. It would have been hard short term, but good long term.

My curse and my blessing is that I talk to everyone. I was walking to find wifi and asked for directions from this woman. She said I am walking this way, we can walk together. So we started talking and then asked to join me for coffee. The next day she invited me for tea at her house, I went because I needed someone to read the Arabic newspaper and didn’t want to wait for some to have time for me. After this we stopped by her sisters home and had tea and falafel
with her mother, nieces, nephews in the front yard … When Samir picked me up for apt hunting – I told him don’t ask what I am doing here. He kept checking that I am not looking for apts in this area. Samir the one helping me most suggested that I don’t have to be so friendly with locals. Its ok to say no or ignore their requests. I guess being in a new country and trying to observe the culture I wasn’t this firm yet. This woman called me many times, 4x the next day. I told her this is too much for just meeting you. She told me she has friend who knows of apts, as nice as she is being, I feel she wants something from me. How did directions become this new found best friend. I almost forgot – when having coffee she starts to talk about men. I told her I don’t have a boyfriend, my last one tried to control me. SHE told me “I like to be controlled - yeah. If he always wants to know how you are, where you are, and who you are with it shows he cares”. I think my jaw dropped internally. Samir tells me several times leave her alone.
I am working on it – I feel like a man that just met this really needy woman.

The second week of looking Samir tells me he can only help for a few more days being that Easter holidays are coming. So we looked at several apts Monday night – again we looked at several really crappy places or a place that is not furnished. One place that was too much for my budget.

Then at last found a one bedroom, with small balcony, and very close to work, hopefully I can walk 20-25 which will save a lot on taxi’s. It is also 10 minute walk from the French cultural center where I am signed up for Arabic class which has a Arabic/French library for students. And a 5 minute walk to a Friday souk (market). The owner is very nice and when I told her I cook, she said you make the kibeeh and I will bring the arak (drinks). She doesn’t mind if I share the one bedroom apt and will not charge me extra (most do). I signed a 5 month contract yesterday (in English which is rare). What a journey this was.

I will start preparing the apt this week and will move April 1st. I will mention that this tres beau French/Spanish guy who works as a translator in Arabic, French, English, and Spanish was the one to show the apt for the owners. He is my neighbor and it would be his pleasure to introduce me to the expat community in the neighborhood. Charming and really good looking men are trouble in my opinion.

Positive Outlook

Most of the challenges are light and humorous once overcome. My first challenge is knowing when to shake a mans hand or not. Young men at AIESEC do, but it varies at the office, so even when I met some American business men I did not extend my hand. I can’t know who is traditional Muslim or not. Western men face the same question for Muslim women.

People are not in a rush here – people you know you should always say hello and ask how they are. I have to retrain my customs when it comes to men. Any friendliness will easily be considered as flirting. So I have to really watch my behavior. I will switch buddy’s
this week because as helpful as he was - he did not keep acceptable boundaries when consuming alcohol. For me I am thinking I am in an international community and I can behave naturally in AIESEC– but should be more keen to the way Jordanians think. I have heard that this culture is very gossipy and this can stay with you for a long time. God help me!

Sometimes I make new rules for myself in life. On my Mid East trip last year I decided I would not enter a man’s house alone for the entire trip. I had never traveled alone and would not take the energy to judge each person. For this trip – I have decided that I will not drink unless I have someone to bring me home or a place to stay. If you can imagine what it would have been like taking a taxi, being locked out of the apt 1:30am and intoxicated – honestly this is where woman expose themsevles to trouble around the world “alone and drunk”.

I am getting more savvy with the taxi drivers. If they know I am a foreigner they will take me around the block. SO I say hello and the neighborhood I am headed to “Marhaba – fi Abdali” then when he get closer I tell them exactly so they learn this at the end. Also I say “hada ktheer” or ”hada ggaly” when it cost more then usual and sometimes they will give it me a little less.

I decided to use the TV and found it went to BBC News – yeah! I tried to change the channel but have to find the correct remote. Monday I opened my bank account for my direct deposit. I signed many things in Arabic. Tuesday as I was leaving the apt, drinking my juice, I saw 50+ lambs next door (adults, baby lambs, donkey and two Bedouins) . I was in shock and wanted to look for my camera but needed to leave for work.

I had an issue with water Monday – it stopped. I emailed Samaan and he told me to have the guard switch it back on. The switch in Arabic was off. So then I could do my dishes and take a shower. BUT water is consumed very different here. It comes 2x a week and if you use it up then you have to wait (well off people have a back up generator). Some people time laundry and dishes around this schedule. I am told most do not shower every day if there is not enough water. You do not run the water while brushing your teeth, etc… for dishes now I will use a dish pan to soak instead of always running the water.

I one thing about moving around – I am always looking for something. My valuables I hide them and then sometimes I have to remember where I put it.

First weekend

Thursday work was excellent. Crystel Call allowed me to sit in an important meeting. Being that my first project will be to analyze expenses/profitability per client which is no small task. This will really utilize the skills I learned in my MS. My current motto "enter through the back door".

Thursday night I moved into Samaan's place . My AIESEC buddy Mudar and his friend Fadi helped me to move in. Afterward we chilled on the balcony. I guess I always talk about what I need to do next. So at 3am, he says "khalas" (enough) I am taking grocery shopping right now. So I did my grocery shop at 4am on Friday morning. Which was really good - being that weekends stores are quite busy and it would cost me to take taxi to/from. So about 5am he drops me of with 39JDs(55USD) of food.

Friday morning I got up late and settled in. I have a three bedroom-three baths, full kitchen, living, dining, sitting room and balcony ALL to myself. The only catch he is trying to rent it out, so I must keep it spotless and will look for a place for April 1st. The second thing he doesn't have diesel in the tank for hot water, which is quite expensive and I don't want to impose. My Kenya experience really helps me in this, so I will just boil water for an evening bath for two weeks. The place is big and quiet - thank god I got the speakers for my laptop. I play music around the clock to keep me company. I am not ready to go into the living and room touch all those TV remotes.

Friday the AIESEC conference had a global village event in the Mecca Mall. So everyone was dressed in their traditional clothes and had snacks from their country. They had a DJ and locals watched and joined in. Afterward we went back the conference hotel and just hung out. I stayed till after midnight so folks could sing me Happy Birthday in English and then in Arabic.

One thing about Amman, people have to discuss for about 5 minutes where something is located.(even the locals). I decided to play it safe and take the silver cabs (med price) so they wouldn't get lost my first time going alone to the apt. I got dropped off at 1:30 am and found my building key did not work. I called Mudar and me told me to go to talk the policeman on the street and see if they can help me (the perk of staying in an upscale area). It took 30 minutes, 3 police guards to reach the super and landlord's brother so I could get into the building (of course Mudar stayed on the phone/translated the entire time). I am thinking OMG I am locked out in Amman on my birthday.

Saturday - Mudar & friends granted my wish and we went to the Dead Sea for my 29th Birthday. We went a 4 star hotel and hung out all day/eve. So beautiful. I didn't know that you can't put this water on your face - its so strong you walk like you are blind till you can rinse it off. Three times this happened to me. It was a lot of fun putting the mud all over and playing with the small rocks. Later that evening we heard some bubbles and it could have been a small whir pool, a few people die a year from this. Mudar said don't worry everything is dead here. If a regular fish comes into the dead sea, they are dead in 30 seconds.My skin feels soft and I woke up feeling really tired today. Maybe the rest did me good.

First week so far....

My first day I got my mobile which a much bigger hassle that I would have thought. An alpha phone for texting cost $300 plus. So I wanted a second hand one, but they are replica (black market) phones and have no warranty. Something so simple became harder than I thought. I feel this will be the first of many things that I will have to learn how they do things here...



Day 2 - I met with my boss "Abe" and an AIESEC rep to have meeting. We discussed our expectations for each other. I am really happy to work here for these six months. Later that day I went to speak with Berlitz for the next Arabic class. They sound like they have a really great program. They focus on local dialect conversational and teach how you learn your mother tongue rather than interpreting. Once they have 6 students signed up it will meet 3x a week for 1.5 hours for ten weeks. I hope to take level 1 and 2 in the next six months. Either before or after work. My current saying "I didn't come here to smoke sheehah". God knows I have plans. Hopefully a class will start in the next few weeks. Here is my work website http://www.crystelcall.com/



Day 3 - I started work today. We had a general overview of the company and the projects I will work on. They will create a schedule for me to work in several department for part of my internship. The first will be due diligence on this company for a prospective investor. Next cost/profitability analysis for projects and proposals. Then go onto more operational tasks. I will know more in a few weeks.


Tonight AIESEC.org is having a reception party for the new interns. Myself, Joao from Brazil and Alexander from Russia. A regional conference is starting this upcoming week with 20 countries rep here in Amman. Check out http://menaxlds2010.org/ . They will have many events planned and I can participate in some around my work scheduled.



Friday I hope to move to my friend place "Samaan" for a few weeks while he is out of town. Which will give me more time to find the right place for me. I went to the other interns apt which gave me a lot of thoughts before handing over any money. Make sure fridge, lights, water really works ..... Also normally you don't get your security back here. (what?) I look forward to hanging up my clothes somewhere and having food in a kitchen to cook.