Zagharta

Going to Lebanon is such a personal experience I am not sure how to
express it. I have dreamed about going to Lebanon for over a decade,
and have searched online since 2004. Last summer I spent 12 days,
my goal for this year was to visit the town that my family originates.
The journey unfolds little by little. When asked where my family is
from, I would say Tripoli. This spring my Great Aunt Joanie told me
it’s actually a town outside Tripoli called Zagharta. On my way North
to Zagharta a friend asked do you know what area exactly in Zagharta
they lived – I laughed and told him I will find out this for my next
trip. This makes more sense since it’s a Maronite Christian town while
Tripoli is more Muslim. I took a picture by the town sign. I walked
around and pretended to find the places they left (a home & church)
and we continued to make stories. I told them I that my grandmother
spoke about a river that she would go to when she was a child. So they
took me to the small river outside of town I took a few minutes to say
a small prayer. I am not sure what to think that I am the only family
member to set foot in Lebanon since my great grandmother Sadie last
visited in the late 60s. I feel them with me at several points in my
journey. I wonder what I am doing here, why I am even here, and as
I told my cousin Chloe, is my life supposed to change now that I have
been to the river? She told me I sounded like I was reading the gospel.

The rest of this Lebanon trip will follow at another point.

Danna Reserve

Jordan has many great places for hiking and camping. With some
friends we took a short two day hiking trip to Danna. In my typical
10 day vacations, I normally don’t have time to head off to the
smaller treasures of a country. This time I really felt like I was
in the middle of no-where and its was really beautiful!

I think this one of the most remote places I have been to in my life
–maybe? We had two guys/two girls, we could not share tent for
camping. So we took separate rooms in a small hotel which was
very friendly and charming. My friend asked which one will I marry
to share a room, I told him I prefer Brazil citizenship over Jordan.
We hiked two trails the first day and not one other person was on
the path. One trail involved some rock climbing and scoping out old
caves. The pathway we figured out was small piles of rocks, this
meant you were going the right way. Some of the paths, I wonder
how did they decide this way? The second path was a very nice
steep climb – watch out for hienas and wildcats . The hotel provides
dinner, luckily because there is no where else to eat. When we were
late for dinner, they called up to make sure we were coming. At
dinner the lovely ladies kept saying “eat more, eat more” which was
good because we were starving from 4.5 hrs of hiking that day. After
some tea, we all laid around. At one point a guy started playing some
drums to invoke a little dancing. Of course I accepted. After a deep
night sleep and some breakfast, we walked down to the valley. As
we walked down in the morning sun, we knew walking back up
would be SO much harder. We sat on the rocks for hours changing
rocks to change our views, I felt this is as peaceful as the beach
which I love. I imagined one day what the Grand Canyon will be
like when I go to visit. I stopped to take a picture of a nice Bedouin
and his cute donkey. He did not ask for money and we offered him
some water up the hill. Once we got to the top, I took the ladies
water hose and soaked down my legs and my arms a bit. I was
surprised they leave the water hose on for so long, but they live
close to the a spring so they don’t have to limit their water use
unlike much of Jordan. Next we went to the springs to drink some
fresh water. I saw a taxi guy wearing 9-11 T-shirt, I asked why. Then
he asked for my phone number … Jordanian men. Back to Amman...

Syria

I got a quick two day trip into Syria. I know many find Syria beautiful.
So I dislike their entry/exit/ visa regulations. As long as you don’t
discuss politics you will have a great time!

The first stop after crossing the border was the Roman city of Busra.
A European choir sang one sang in the center of the theatre which
was great. Some local kids where playing football among the ruins
which was hilarious. Next we headed to Damascus and had quick
lunch (manakeesh pastries) and some fresh juice drinks, I took mine
with cream which was amazing. After that took a hike in some hills,
rested and then had a picnic. That evening we headed over to the
old city, which is so beautiful it reminds me of the old city of
Jerusalem. Locals tell me Damascus is among the oldest cities
the world. The Al Hamidiyeh Souq in the old city is a lot of fun
and we went to have ice cream at Bakdash which makes it as
it was made when established around 1885. Only a few spots in
the world make it this way – I guess the other place is in Turkey.

In Syria lots of eating, walking around, and shopping in the souk.
Things are cheaper than Jordan so I took advantage of buying
some stuff. I entered the Ummayad Mosque (Grand Mosque).
I had to rent a brown cloak to cover up. Families are just hanging
out in the courtyard, children are running around. When we left
a man said to my friend in Arabic to teach us foreigners about
Islam to convert (but he is Christian so that is not happening).
Oh yeah he had to wear a skirt to cover his knees since his shorts
were above his knees. It was funny to see even the security with
out shoes/socks. This mosque was a church that was dedicated
to John the Baptist. Even the pope has visited it.

More good Syrian/Lebanese food. Can you ever get enough?
I always like to try new things as well as ordering the same
favorites. Some get sick in Syria, luckily I was traveling with
people who know where to go. I got into a USA political
conversation with a French guy and my Jordanian friend said
he would leave me at the border with the secret police if they stop
me. I will not forget this???? Also I pointed to a picture of their
leader because I was amazed that cars will have the entire back
window with a picture of him, I was told not to point.

By the way, I traveled with a total of nine people in a large SUV
5 guys and 4 girls or 7 Jordanians passport holders and 2 expats.
I think our dinners had 15-20 people at the table.

YES pictures will come. Next trip Beirut!

UAE weekend

I as see the time passing I realized I have to start planning my
regional travel. My first trip visit a good friend Phillip in Abu Dhabi. I
had to go before it got any hotter, that weekend it was 100 degrees
and getting hotter by the week. I trotted around the UAE from
Thurs to Tues. My first night we met up with a small group in Dubai
from our Leb Camp. I really miss Asian and Mexican food. So went
out for Japanese in Jumeirah Beach Residence (JBR), which is the
South Beach of Dubai. Then we went out Salsa dancing with live
music. I got to dance salsa, meringue, bachata and sip a nice sangria.
Next we went around the corner for live Arabic music and danced till
we could not anymore. It was really nice being able to dress and act
however I want. The next day we went out for Thai, I had an ice chai
tea latte – so nice. Then we went out to el Ain, which is a two hour
drive to bath in the spring water. El Ain is small city that is almost all
Emirates and Pakistan’s as compared to the UAE which is ¾ expats.
The mountain view was nice and nice to see all the families picnic
together. Especially in UAE I always wonder if family have second
wives or just other female relatives. In the bath house, of course
men and woman are separate. But we still had to cover up. I wore
cotton t-shirt and capris over my bathing suit and a shower cap.
My god this was a funny site. In many woman only places you have
to check in your camera or phone with camera ability. Its pretty
interesting that I know more basic Arabic from 3 months in Jordan
than some who have lived in Dubai for several years. That night
we hung out again on the strip in JBR, Dubai. I loved all the
people watching a real mix of east and west.

The next day we headed off to Abu Dhabi. We went out for this
big Lebanese meal and I gave my friend a hard time that they
would throw out all the leftovers so we took them Which ended
up being a grocery bag of leftovers and he laughed as he carried it
home. Arab people waste a lot of food, they want to give you more
food than you can possibly eat which makes them good hosts … and
they also want to have a selection of food. I don’t believe in waste,
and after my time in Kenya I will do my best not to allow this.

The next day my plan was to head to the Cornish. The beach is my
favorite place in the world. The water is so beautiful. But is was funny
that they have so much construction that it takes a minute to fully
escape. I don’t think you can escape the construction in UAE. Next
we did a little shopping in the Abu Dhabi mall, I was looking for cute
things that are appropriate for Jordan. I bought one X-L shirt in a
little girls store. That evening we went bicycle riding to the Cornish.
Getting there was a bit adventurous. I told him – I don’t have health
insurance – please god protect me . The curbs are over a foot tall,
I think they did this so people can’t park on the sidewalks. I found out
many drive SUV who like to drive on sand dunes.

The second day I decided to try the public beach which is in the
middle of the private beaches. Everything is the same. But then I
realized it was like 20-30 men and 4 -5 foreign woman. At every
minute a least 5 men are starring with out blinking. A combo of
service workers, Pakistan, Pilipino, and Egyptians. As much as I
hate this, I realized from their perspective we are like pin up
ads. Look at how their woman dress and we want to comfortably
walk around in a bikini with out being starred at. So most woman
do pay to go to the private beach and there is a reason for this.
Now I know. What also fascinates me that a significant portion of
men wear all white and woman wear all black - it represents
little individualism and more homogeneity group attributes in
the culture.

I appreciate Dubai more this time, Beirut and Dubai are my Miami
in the MidEast. Dam I am a city girl - eating cosmopolitan food,
dancing freely, showing skin. Yes I do need this.

SABEQ/USAID Report

How I affect others?
Speaking with the accountant whom I work most with. He said he is
happy to meet and work with me (as am I). I am the first American
that he has spent time with to get to know. This increases his
professional and personal experience with the American style and
culture. The accountant is also so helpful with anything in Jordan,
making phone calls for me, researching online, or reading the text
message in Arabic. We used to write down directions for the taxi
driver if they did not understand me. I am pleased that I am helping
him along with some others with their conversational English. Some
have studied the language but do not practice often, I tell them a
few months talking with me and they will be conversationally
fluent. I like showing them tricks such as the English thesaurus
in Word. I like seeing a smile when I use some Arabic, as some
do not even try.

In the beginning I never said as much as good morning with the
“office boy”. He heard me practicing the Arabic lessons with a
co-worker, then I start asking him questions to practice, “his name,
his age, where he lives, where he is from, how many children he
has…”. Now we say hello and I try to have basic communication
with him. I inquired to him and another co-worker why people
stare so much here in Jordan. The conversation in my broken
Arabic, many hand gestures (my American Sign Language is used
globally), and of course the co-worker filling in to better explain
my basic vocabulary. I told my boss I will learn more Arabic
speaking with the office boy than him.

How we affect each other?
I think our “water cooler” conversations have affected us both. I
asked some not to judge the USA by our television shows such
as MTV and I will not judge the Arab culture by the evening news.
Television is a business and not fair or accurate view of ones culture.
I also criticize many distasteful images on American television, so
that some hear we do not all agree with how we are being
portrayed. Every country likes to hear some praise about their
country, with some I feel they are not open to hearing anything
that I dislike, such as the dishonest taxi drivers or the frustrations
of figuring things out in a new country. Sometimes I am not sure if
it personal why someone doesn’t really converse with me, maybe
they are not in a mood, or its just easier/ preferable to be social in
Arabic. Anytime I feel I have to explain myself, I feel potential
judged. I try to encourage mutual understanding rather than
judgment among cultural discussions. Sometime I use an English
word that is not understood and we look up the definition and
find it is not how I meant to use it (great) .

Lastly, I feel how we carry ourselves in the world has an indirect
affect on others. I am young independent woman moving around
the city of Amman. I feel that all the woman that walk around fully
covered mostly escorted by a man – what do they think when they
see me. Honestly I don’t know? But I am giving them something to
look at and I am exposing them to something that they can like or
not? If people and children see strong, intelligent, groomed women
this may changes some views of what is possible (if they so wish).
I walk by the court house every workday and internally praise the
women lawyers I see. If we have no woman lawyers we can not
realistically dream of becoming one. If one dreams of traveling the
world or having a career in a non-traditional career, meeting
someone else makes this dream one step closer. I have no desire
to impose my views or lifestyle on others.

How the internship impacts me?
I feel it is much easier to describe how this internship has impacted
me. I consider myself a worldly and internationally conscious
person. I have found that I am my international understanding
comes from the point of reference in NYC. Here in Amman, Jordan
the international culture is begins from the point of reference from
Jordan. I have many Arab friends back home, but I also find they
are more western as they are Arabs in USA, which is really different
than Arabs in Middle East.

I find Jordan a 1000x more relaxed than NYC and this does affect the
work habits and environment. I can’t help but laugh when discussing
a project with the team, our boss gives a deadline and someone
response ”enshallah - god willing”. My personal motto as displayed
on my desk “where there’s a will there is a way – may you find yours”.
For me this “enshallah” does not work in the business world, my
belief system is based more on “force majeure”.

I find an internship a different focus than having a regular job in the
sense that - you get to have a lot more input on the projects that
you take. In most jobs you are paid a salary to fulfill certain
responsibilities, but in an internship its an exchange of time and
resources. The projects must be useful to the company and I must
be challenged and learning new skills. Never before the recession in
the USA would I have considered this. But I find this internship
keeping my career on track rather than settling just to make a living
to get by. Having been out of work for over one year, I find the
internship a nice transition back into a structured life again. I prefer
to be of use in life than sitting at home!

I intend seek work in the Middle East after the six months internship
has ended. I have always wanted to try living abroad. Looking for
full-time work overseas can take a lot of time and you have no idea
what you are committing to. This internship is servicing as a bridge
to the region. After spending several months here, I will be better
connected, thus know better how to seek work here. It also gives me
some time to know what I do and do not like, what I can and can not
live with in the next position or country. Currently I am studying
colloquial conversational Arabic in the evening which helps me in
my daily life, connecting with the people around me, and hopefully
will help some in seeking the next position. Some Arabic is better
than no Arabic!

Dance Festival - Yallah!

I found this amazing dance opportunity two weeks ago which has kept
me so busy. Amman hosted an international dance festival with many
dance companies arriving from around the world. Many of the dance
companies are offering free dance workshops to help enrich the dance
community in Amman. Ya Samar Dance (from NYC) company put out
a call for professional and pre-professional dancers for an 10 day
intensive workshop and performance which I participated in. The
workshop was modern/contemporary/improvisation. I have no
classical or modern background so this was quite new for me. The
Creative Director “Summer” set the bar to professional standards
which was also quite challenging.

The exercises/training put me in an artistic space I have never
experienced. We practiced leading all movements from specific body
parts, i.e. nose, chin, shoulder, collar bone, ribs, hips, knees, foot.
This exercise was to have more intent with different movements. We
created 9 cubic points in space that we had to reach for with different
body parts (to the point of falling). This exercise clearly is to reach as
far as you can go and occupy the space. We had partner exercise
where we had to move with different levels of contact to focus on
connection with fellow dancers, i.e. contact, surface just hair lightly
touch , 10 cm away, 1 meter, opposite sides of the room. We then
had to move as though we were mud, then water, then oil
(ta3yn, mayy, zait). One of the last exercises was about creating lines
with different body parts and to play with this – so fascinating. We
had rolling exercises and we played freeze tag. Everyday I had so
many bruises on my knees, elbows, shin, foot. The assistant director
Zoe is a Yoga Master so we also has yoga in our workouts. This was all
before we started the chorography.

Training took place 4 hours a day for 10 days. I went to work early to
leave early and then trained from 4:30-8:30. On the weekend we
trained from 12:00 to 4:00. I missed 2 rehearsal when it happened
during the workday which also fell the days I had Arabic lessons in
the evening. I also attended physical therapy 3x a week for my calf
which was really needed with the all the training. Basically I was busy
from 9am to 9pm every day.

Honestly when I am learning movements I am always focused
learning the moves correctly then executing them in my own style.
I have never really experiences this kind of artistic space where its
not about looking good but more about exploration. I want to be
good, I want to be good, and in this was the challenge of being.
Wow - I feel blessed & honored to be presented this free mental
space/the process of art.

As Ya Samar was creating our chorography they were also working
with musicians to create the music which would be fused together
closer to the end. We practiced so many times and only a few times
to the actual music since we needed the musicians for this. We each
had small solos, created from a childhood memory. My memory was
“the backyard” the center of my childhood. Hopefully we can get
the clip.

I am so fortunate 5-7 weeks here in Amman, already connecting with
the dance community and then performing on the stage of Al Hussein
Cultural Center. Amman is a small community, going to the events
knowing many people, hanging out with all the dancers from around
the world (also fellow NYers) after the show… lots of fun. To my NYC
friends you must see Ya Samar perform I was so touched/impressed
to the pointed I teared twice.

I may try to teach some private lessons to the expatriate
community here in Amman – enshallah (god willing).

New Home - Settling In

I moved into my new place about a week ago. Its like having a country house. The kitchen was decorated in the 1960’s with red/white box pattern. There is a lemon tree outside the window hopefully I can reach them to pick some. I have a small terrace where I can sit and eat with wonderful sunlight. Hopefully will barbeque soon. I want to buy a few herb plants to grow there.
Its learning everything over again. The first weekend I clogged the toilet for the entire weekend because I should not flush paper down the toilet. We have to heat the water before taking a shower and I had to call the landlord to ask how to turn this on. It even took me a little while to remember how to turn on the fire for the gas stove. I couldn’t remember and came back to it a couple hours later. I still don’t know where I should put the garbage. Its really interesting just having the basics in a kitchen - no microwave, toaster oven, George Forman grill, cuisine art…. The first weekend I had not bought internet so this was a bit like being on holiday – not connected.

One thing that is funny, in the USA and especially in NYC we are not used to waiting. In the states I would have just bought my internet on my credit card and paid for it later. But Jordan is a cash country, and my check took longer than expected so I ended up waiting till getting paid just a few days. Being that it wont be easy to put back my US Savings or credit card I want to use them sparingly. Also Jordanians have a very different sense of time and some think I am impatient. Of course as a New Yorker, we want everything done promptly. They can discuss or put something off for two weeks that I intend to wrap up in 3-5 days. I regularly tell people here, I don’t really wait for people.

So I thought I was getting direct deposit from my company on the 1st. It ends up US AID sends a big check to AISEC on the 1st, they cash it which takes one day to clear, then we go and pick up a check from them. Funds were getting quite low, so they told me they could give me partial cash. But then they tried to just give me cash and then to wait another day to come back for the check, which would have cost me 4JDs each time (with income of 1/3 of US). I passed by my bank to cash it but that would take a day to clear, so I waited to go the bank the check was written on to get cash, which delayed paying rent and buying the internet. I went window shopping for internet that first weekend and found out that I needed a resident to sign up or the deposit for the modem would be much larger. So then I had to coordinate someone to go out to City Mall to get the internet.

Tuesday I realized I have to go the police station to extend my 30 day visa. You have to go to one in that has the jurisdiction for your home. I stopped by one close and asked them what I need and which one I should go to. Wednesday morning I headed down with my passport and apt lease. I had to walk 40 min because I did not have a small bill to give the taxi and normally don’t even have change for 5JD. I knew the area it was in but wasn’t sure exactly where, it took me an extra 30 minutes to find it once in the neighborhood. Each person kept telling me something else, and they always want to tell you to take a taxi even when its quite close. SO I go upstairs and they tell me that I need the blood test to receive the stamp. I have gotten different information and I know people who have not gotten the test but no one who spoke Arabic picked up the phone to help me sort this out. The police guy told me go get the test and we will stamp you if you have the receipt. So then I am off to El Garden Street to find the blood test place. The taxi driver spoke to my boss for 5 minutes and he still didn’t know where it was. I got out once I knew I was close. I asked someone in a bank and he decided to walk me over. I took the test 20JDs ($28) and headed back the police station. I showed up with the receipt that I had taken the test. But the friendly police chief was not having this and told me the rules changed March 31st (written in Arabic). He told me I have to come back with the results and I will pay 1.5JDs each day late after one month from entrance. The funniest thing, when I wasn’t happy, he said speak to my wife and handed me the phone. I took the phone and she said hello and asked me the problem. When I heard her voice I asked if she was Jordanian, and she said no American. I was sitting with a room full of men and I said “oh thought I may like a woman to console me”. If I have not mentioned before, I have met many men with American wives. Anyway what I thought would take an hour or so took 4 hours on the first day. Welcome to Jordan – Ahlan wa sahlan! I also said this to the police officers which made one laugh.

After my morning of running around I went to work, then to Arabic lessons, then to city mall to cash my check and buy internet with a local. While there I decided to do a big food shop, since it cost 5JDs($7) taxis. The store kicked me out at midnight when it closed. I got in the taxi and when 2/3rd home I realized that I forgot the modem in the check bagged desk. I debated and decided to go back because I wasn’t sure if things will still be there in the next day. So myself and the taxi guy enter the mall after closing and made our way into the store. Which we spoke with the guards for over 30 minutes to get this. I tried to use My arabic “eli yom, ma boukra – today not tomorrow”. He said impossible and I respond “leesh la – why not”. When I say something people often giggle.So finally we got the bag I said “el hum du allah – thanks be to god” and I got home at 1:14 am. I spent 8JDs ($11) with the very helpful taxi guy who was born in Brazil but Jordanian/Palestinian. He spoke pretty good English, but once I heard the Portuguese I started also saying little things in Spanish. The moral to the story being very tired cost money with mistakes – but there will always be a learning curve.

Believe me I am so tired of asking people for help, trying not to be too needy for those that are helpful OR taking an endless amount of time/wandering to figure it out myself.